Lunch of Champions

Bitches are throwin’ up gang signs on the corner of South & Main

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Those lyrics got your attention yet? They’re probably the best place to start with Cryns #3 (a.k.a. Toby Cryns) in this debut album, …If Howard Roark Could Dance.

My favorites:
“I’ve been late for my job, I’ve been kicked in the seat, my feet are hurtin’, and my Geo is beat”- How’s that for desperate and low?

“There’s a younger hand, there’s a bible man. There’s a light that shines on the darkest nights. A singer grooves with the Thundercat moves, and a hooker soothes as a doctor would. Gettin’ on down with the Scooby Snacks. You’re gettin’ a hooker to scratch your back. Drawing a line in the sand. You’re stealing the sound of your brothers’ band. You’re tellin’ all the lawyers to back that ass up. You’re listening to a person that won’t shut up. You’re making certain that the siren sounds. You’re firing on all cylinders, releasing the hounds.” – Spit out fast like Bob Dylan dropping flash cards.

“You’ve got to get down on your knees and pray, pray for someone like me, to come along and give a damn about someone like you.” – That’s some harsh sympathy, and tough love.

“I think of you everyday, sometimes twice” – Just downright honest and frank!

A couple sample tracks:
Track 4 – Speak
Track 7 – Kids

Is it punk or is it jazz? It might be. Mixed with a score of largely acoustic instruments, the arrangements turn the simplest songs into ensembles. There’s a sweet trombone solo in there, and he’s got kids singing with him. He even exhibits the art of lyrical reprise. How lovely! Truly heartfelt. Selfless. No pretense. You gotta see this guy live.

And if you can dig the off-key caterwauling falsettos of any of your favorite rockers, you’ll get along with Cryns #3 just fine. The most honest feedback? Children like this album. I have one and know another two who can’t get the songs out of their heads.

Something I respect most about an album like this is that the songs are short. If you like ‘em, you can’t get enough, if you don’t, they’re not long enough to annoy you.