Lunch of Champions

Britney Spears MTV Music Awards Performance - Please let this girl ride off into the washed up celebrity sunset.

It’s easy to hate on Hollywood folk, which is why I’m taking the higher ground on this one. Let it never be argued that Britney Spears is an artist. I haven’t really paid attention to her much over the years, except when my celebrity-obsessed friend (you know who you are…) talks about Britney’s marital troubles and poor mothering skills. What all her publicly-devoured problems tell me is that Britney has the same problem that many of us have - figuring out our place in the world. And like many of us, she has chosen to ignore the fact that she is aging and gaining perspective in the world, and instead she is falling back on what she knows best - making an ass of herself and lip-syncing at a nationally-televised event.

Britney is in a unique position. On the one hand, she has power in Hollywood and presumably millions of dollars in the bank. On the other hand, she has never lived a normal life, she is tailed by the asshole news media everywhere she goes, her marital successes and troubles were displayed for all the world to see, and she continually gets flack for her mothering skills. Her mothering skills! It’s that last one that hurts me most.

No mother should ever have to endure ridicule for her mothering skills. Mothering is one of those things that are ingrained in our bodies by instinct. It doesn’t require any training or special skills, and it is practiced around the world by every people that has ever walked the Earth. To insult someone’s mothering skills, I presume, would be the ultimate put-down. A denial of someone’s humanness. Further, I would bet the bank that each and every person in this country has a mother who did things that, if played on Entertainment Tonight, would have been mocked by the general public. I mean, making mistakes is what parenting is all about, right?

So here’s the story. Yes, Britney totally sucks as a performer. Yes, she doesn’t possess many of the learned skills that allow someone to function normally in society. Yes, she has completely lost it. Yes, her music sucks (always has). But what the fuck?! Let her die a peaceful celebrity death of making shitty B-list reality television programs. Cut this girl some slack and view her as that crazy person down on Franklin Avenue who was abused as a child (which she was). Look at her as someone deserving of pity rather than ridicule. Find a good book to read, and stop looking to Britney for entertainment…it’s getting old.